Okay, I’ve had it with the “curling is funny” line

You curl. I curl. Lots of people we know curl. Are you funny?  Am I?

(No, actually, I’m not.  In fact, I’m a terrible joke teller and often need punch lines explained to me.)

The point is, “curling is funny” leaves me shaking my head. Football is funny (tight pants, crazy moves).  Soccer can be pretty darn funny with all that dramatic embellishment going on. Surely it’s all in the eye of the beholder.

And some beholders seem to have goggles on when it comes to curling.  

The Curling News blog published a piece about the new CBC comedy, Men With Brooms. I don’t need to give you the drill: same people who did Corner Gas, based on Paul Gross’ affectionate but slightly off-base curling movie of the same name, etc., etc. The post includes links to the usual media outlets giving their reviews of the pilot, reviews that were pretty predictable (“the show is more about the people than it is about curling”). All good.

But then the Canadian Press piece starts: “There is something inherently funny about curling….”

Okay, hold it right there.

Which characteristic of curling makes the sport so funny,exactly?

Is it the balance, flexibility and strength required to float a rock down the ice to the button?  Or throw a take-out that gets everything moving and clears the house?

Is it the judgment required to determine – using eyeball or stopwatch, doesn’t matter – when that rock is going to slow down, where it’s going to dig in, how it’s going to finish?  And with that goes the power to drive those brushes into the ice without letting up until the rock hits its target or grinds to a halt. Try it – it’s not that funny.

Is it the skips’ hollering that seems funny?  Is it the “Hurry hard! Harder!” which has drawn far too many sophomoric innuendos from uninformed non-curlers?

Curling is not “inherently funny”. Just ask Kevin Martin, pictured above at a Grand Slam event in Guelph last January. The Olympics brought curling’s appeal to the front of the sporting stage – it also showed that “funny” and “fun” are not the same thing. Curling – and curling fans – are fun, no doubt about it.

But “funny”?  Can we move on, please, people?

Technorati Tags: Men with Brooms,TCN,The Curling News,Corner Gas,Paul Gross,curling

(Photo: Jean Mills)

What does a school library in Los Angeles have in common with a curling writer in Canada?

Good question! Here is the answer to this six-degrees-of-separation question:

A writing colleague of mine was visiting Ralph Bunche school in the Compton Unified School District of Los Angeles, and there she found a woefully underfunded and underequipped school library.  Helaine Becker is not one to walk away from a challenge.  She rallied her Canadian colleagues (including moi) to send in copies of our books so that she could deliver them to this very needy school - a goodwill exercise of mammoth project management proportions.

Well, Helaine has done it.  On October 2, five Canadian authors and a pile - a huge pile including thousands of donated books - will be arriving at the school for a shelving celebration.  And among those books is my novel, Abby and the Curling Chicks.

Yes, little kids in Los Angeles, California, U.S.A. (population ??? million) will be reading about a girl in Vankleek Hill, Ontario, Canada (population 1800), a girl who curls.  Now that is cool.

If you want to know more about Air Lift to L.A., you can read the complete press release with details galore on my writing blog, Writer's Life.

Curling Club Scavenger Hunt

Two weeks at the cottage in Nova Scotia means soaking in hours of beach time, reading lightweight books, exploring the shore, dodging squirts from those elusive razor clams, setting mousetraps in the cottage – and, occasionally, venturing forth into the countryside to see the sights.

The sights, for me, always include a search for the local curling club.  If you read my previous blog, you’ll know about my search for the Dawson City club while on a visit to Yukon in July. (In case you missed it, you can read it, here).

It wasn’t hard to find the new Northumberland Community Curling Club  which opened in December 2007 and appears (from the photos on its site, here) to be thriving. Check out the fireplace in the party room! Locals say the club is the result of complete community involvement, and curlers drive the winding roads around Pugwash, Wallace, Oxford and beyond to get their curling fix during the long Nova Scotia winter. It’s a fine looking building, tucked in just behind the high school and easily accessible from the Gulf Shore Road.

And a few days later we spotted the New Caledonian Curling Club  (not to be confused with the Royal Caledonian Curling Club) near the wharf in Pictou, Nova Scotia, home of the Hector, the ship which brought the first Scottish settlers to New Scotland in 1773. (Okay, so it took a few years to establish the curling club. No doubt there were other important things to think about – like food, shelter and safety, perhaps?) Cool sign!

Any curling club sightings in your travels? Send me your photos (jrmills@rogers.com) and I’ll post them here. A hint: watch for a sign along the road, like this one in Pugwash:

Technorati Tags: curling club,Pugwash,Pictou,Nova Scotia,Northumberland Community Curling Club,New Caledonian Curling Club,Royal Caledonian Curling Club,Dawson Curling Club

Dawson City: Yukon Quest…for the curling club

My dad used to say that if he found himself suddenly plunked down in any small Ontario town, he’d be able to find his way to the beer store.  There’s just something predictable about the placement of that all-important supplier of refreshment.  It’s like knowing (nowadays) where the Tim Hortons is (on the strip coming into or out of town, near the gas stations and the Wendy’s/Harvey’s/McDonald’s, right?).

I thought of Dad’s talent for navigation recently as I made my way up and down the streets of Dawson City, Yukon, searching for the curling club.

Dawson, what a place: a Canadian town that owes its cheerfully independent character to the men who moiled for gold as the 19th century eased into the 20th.

First, there’s the fast-flowing Yukon River, part Yukon silt and part Klondike clear. When we were there, the Yukon River Quest race was on. Canoes and kayaks of all sizes were pelting for the finish line in the annual competition that starts in Whitehorse and ends when the paddlers reach the dock in Dawson. Throughout our days there, we would suddenly hear horns blaring and voices raised in celebration as another team of tough paddlers arrived. Out of over 70 teams that started, only 54 finished. (Winners this year, “Texans”.  We were there to see the third place team pull in – intriguingly named, “Breaking Wind”…)

Second, there’s the ambience, if you want to call it that. That late-nineteenth century frontier vibe is everywhere: in the somewhat dilapidated (purposefully, make no mistake) clapboard buildings; the boardwalk sidewalks on either side of dirt roads; the overgrown lawns that nobody wastes valuable time worrying about; the well-trained, leash-free dogs who travel everywhere with their owners; and lastly, the wilderness looming at the end of every street.  River, forest, rocky hills. And some of the most friendly people you could ever meet.

That’s Dawson.

So, on my journeys around town to see Robert W. Service’s house and the old Palace Grande Theatre, I kept my eyes peeled for the unmistakable signs of a curling club.  You know, long and low, a parking lot, and a sign on the front door saying some version of “Leave street shoes at the door and help keep our ice clean!”

And at last, I found it! Long, low and green. Parking lot out the back, sign on the front door. Of course, nobody  was home (this being July), but no matter. Curling in Dawson is obviously alive and well - right next to Diamond Tooth Gertie’s, one of the town’s biggest attractions (gambling, showgirls, drinking – you get the picture).

In Dawson City, where else would the curling club be?

Technorati Tags: curling,Dawson City,Yukon,curling club,Dawson Curling Club,Yukon River Quest,Diamond Tooth Gertie's

I want to move to Scotland – where they have a flair for reporting their curling news

Like most curling fans, I browse the internet regularly for out-of-the-way stories about the sport’s people and events. 

(Of course, Google Alerts can’t distinguish between curling as in sport and curling as in using a hot iron stick to beautify your hair, but whatever…)

Sometimes a gem will pop up, like this recent article from The Southern Reporter in Selkirk about the changing of the guard at several curling clubs in the Borders region of Scotland:

AT THE AGM, Earlston Curling Club promoted straight-talking David Mitchell to president, following in Wendy Henderson's dainty footsteps.

“Dainty footsteps”?  Really?  But I love it! (Inappropriate and possibly sexist as it may be). Is this a comment on Wendy’s leadership style?  And what about David?  “Straight-talking”? Does that mean he has a gift for telling it like it is – not always as “daintily” as he might?  Anyone who has served on a curling club executive knows what I’m talking about.  The behind-the-scenes story emerging here is fascinating.

And there’s more:

Due to various clinical and orthopaedic bothers amongst the higher echelons of the membership, this past season was not the greatest in the club’s history.They suffered a dismal Border League campaign with one or two hard-luck moments and little good fortune in the Berwickshire competitions.

You have to love it: orthopaedic bothers.  Sore knees?  Bad back?  Wrist? Elbow?  What, what?  I’m dying to know. Did someone crash to the ice during the all-important last throw to the four-foot? Did a sweeper have to bail?  Were drugs of the over-the-counter painkiller variety involved?

We have great curling reporters in Canada, in print (The Curling News comes to mind…) and on TV (TSN’s Vic, Linda and the recently-retired Ray, for example). But this kind of writing is to curling what Danny Gallivan was to hockey broadcasting.  I’d love to see more of it. 

In the meantime, I’ll be trolling the internet for more Scottish curling reports…

Curling on TV: “Charming people being sweet, good-natured and kind.” Really?

John Doyle, the TV columnist for The Globe and Mail is one of my favourite newspaper writers. He can be quirky (writing about his wild brother and the lads, or his adventures in the “TV racket”) and very, very funny (see same), but he can also be direct and analytical. He knows a lot about sports, too, and he also covers World Cup soccer. He was the columnist who drew a country’s eyes towards the charms of Cheryl Bernard during the Olympics. (And a few years ago he did the same for Colleen Jones, believe it or not!) Apparently he gets a lot of mail and not all of it complimentary, but he tackles his topics head on and applies a clear-eyed and very articulate filter to his commentary on issues relating to both the creative and political sides of the broadcasting industry. No nonsense, with Doyle.  He tells it as he sees it, and I like that.

In today’s column,(read it here) he takes on the CBC’s new fall schedule and complains that it doesn’t have enough bite.

He refers to shows such as Battle of the Blades, Heartland and Being Erica. “The curling comedy could be great fun,” he adds, referring to the upcoming Men With Brooms (the details of which can be found at The Curling News). “But is that all there is?”

“Where’s the buzz?" he asks. “Where’s the show with the dark undercurrent, the one that has to be seen because it provokes, angers, frustrates, delights and thrills?”

John doesn’t know much about curling, does he?  Oh the storylines that a small town curling club (or large town curling club, or great big bonspiel…) can provide! And not all of them jolly and bite-free. Sex, drugs, feuds and animosities, broken and/or budding romances, over-indulgence, power, greed, nastiness...! As well as all the good stuff that we curlers just take for granted: skill, respect, a sense of humour, and the overall beauty of a sport at once graceful (Glenn Howard or Kevin Martin or any other elite curler sliding out from the hack with perfect draw weight…) and ferocious (Kennedy and Hebert pounding a dying rock across the hogline to the button, or the voice-cracking desperation of a sweeping call that could make the difference between victory and defeat).

So John, you can lump Battle of the Blades, Heartland, Being Erica and Debbie Travis’ series “showcasing good Canadians” together if you want.  But you might want to hold fire on Men With Brooms. I suspect it’s not going to be a show about “charming people being sweet, good-natured and kind.” At least, I hope not!

Men With Brooms coming to a TV near you this fall

Okay, I confess that I have a thing for Paul Gross.  Due South was brilliant – great idea, great writing, subtle shifts between drama and comedy (see the episode “A Hawk and a Handsaw”) and wonderful performances from some of Canada’s best – Callum Keith Rennie, Gordon Pinsent, Wendy Crewson, Brent Carver, Colm Feore come to mind.  And how about Getting Married in Buffalo Jump and Slings and Arrows and Gross’ performance as Hamlet at the Stratford Festival?  And then, more recently, there were all those Genie Awards for his writing, producing and acting in Passchendaele.  He’s also a musician. And not too hurtin’ in the looks department, either. 

So when the film Men With Brooms came out in 2002, I was in heaven.  Paul Gross and curling.  Kind of silly curling, kind of rough-around-the-edges Paul Gross, but still a combination of two acquired tastes, nicely melted into a bad-boy-makes-good sports film including the improbable (really? throw it so hard that he smashes the rocks – twice?) and the impressive (familiar faces of Canadian curlers like The Curling News’ George Karrys and spinerama ace Jeff Stoughton). Ok, maybe a bit over the top.

Who cares, said I.  Paul Gross and curling.  Does it get any better?

It does.

Now CBC is actually going ahead with a sitcom based on the film, including Gross in the show, although not as the central character. But that’s okay.  He got the stone sliding, so to speak, and now other creative types, including producer/writer Paul Mather can sweep it along – hopefully into a something with the charm of Corner Gas or Little Mosque on the Prairie. (Interesting but not terribly important fact: Both shows did curling episodes:  “Hurry Hard” and “Jihad on Ice”.)

Want to know more about the TV version of Men With Brooms?  Check The Curling News for all the deets. 

Technorati Tags: Men with Brooms,Paul Gross,curling,curling movie,CBC,Paul Mather,The Curling News