Piss-cutter and Make It Go Away: Curling words to live by

As a curling writer, I'm fascinated by the language of the game. Friends of mine told me that when they tried to watch the Olympic curling event, they were in stitches over the indecipherable language - "code" they called it - used by the announcers. Try it: turn your curling antenna off and just listen to the lingo used to describe our game. It's pretty darn strange.

But there's always room for word evolution in curling.

At the recent Scotties, Saskatchewan (now Team Canada) skip Amber Holland drew lots of attention for her unusual lingo during a few games.

Referring to one of her rocks as a "piss-cutter" got people talking. Is that a bad word? What does it mean? How did that one get by the censors?

Truth is, the term is not as inappropriate as you might think.  Although I haven't concluded my research, it appears that the term is in common usage in the U.S. Marine corps, as the name of a certain type of folded cap worn with a uniform. But it's also been found as far afield as New Brunswick, as a term for something outstanding or good. "A real piss-cutter of a job", says Bill Casselman, collector of unusual Canadian terms, means to do a really good job of something. (You can read Bill's blog, here).

An article in the National Post in which Amber got "cornered" by reporter Cory Wolfe, suggests that the term is actually from Old English. I checked in with Professor Elizabeth Greene at Queen's University, a Old English specialist, and she says the term doesn't ring any bells with her. (We both went running for our copies of Beowulf and found nothing).

So the truth is out there, readers.  If anyone can help nail this one down, I'd love to know.

******

How often have we heard the announcers (and occasionally, curlers) preface a hit with the phrase: "We just want to make it go away."

Now, my question is, have curlers always been using this phrase - make it go away - or is it the invention of the late Sandra Schmirler (my theory)?

I can remember Sandra discussing shots with Jan Betker, her third, in the house and announcing that the plan was to "make it go away", at which point TSN announcers Vic, Linda and Ray would laugh in approval.

My question: did Sandra invent this term? Does anyone remember "Make it go away" being used in curling parlance before the late 1990s?

The language of curling: another reason to love the Roaring Game. (And of course we know where that term came from....right?)

Jennifer Jones vs Cathy Overton-Clapham: Let's move on, please.

Okay, it's done.  Thank goodness.

Cathy Overton-Clapham and her Team Manitoba won the big grudge match against her former team, led by skip Jennifer Jones.

Now, let me translate that statement into the unspoken language of the media feeding frenzy that surrounded this game:

Poor Cathy Overton-Clapham and her second-choice Team Manitoba kicked butt in the big grudge match against her mean former teammates, led by that evil b***h, skip Jennifer Jones.

Clearly the crowd was in Cathy's corner. So was the media. So was the Twitter-sphere.

And it's not hard to understand why. Being fired from her team - reports make it clear that the other three players made the decision among themselves - came as a nasty shock to Cathy O. There goes her chance to be part of Team Canada, play in the Continental Cup, receive funding - all of that, gone. And all because Jennifer Jones decided the team needed someone else, someone with better knees, someone who was not Cathy.

So yes, we feel sorry for her.

But...

A curling team is like any other relationship. There's a lot that goes on behind closed doors that we aren't privy to. Disagreements, attitudes, incidents. Who knows what really went on in the Jones team? Only Jennifer, Cathy, Jill and Dawn.

The media grabbed this story and ran with it because the drama was just too good to miss.  The fans embraced it too, perhaps helped along by the media. Who can blame them?

So the game has finally taken place: Team Canada against Team Manitoba. Jennifer against Cathy. And Cathy won, to the delight of the loudly cheering fans.

But this is what bothers me:

When have you ever seen a game at the Scotties where the fans were not just cheering FOR one team, they were doing so in order to cheer AGAINST another?

Jennifer Jones isn't my favourite curler, but she's a fierce competitor who plays to win. I respect her. I've seen her haul games back into her control and win them, when it looked as if all was lost. She's a fighter, and when she's on the world stage with the Maple Leaf on her back, she does us proud.

But the Scotties crowd - helped by the media - were not behind her in tonight's game. They weren't even politely tolerant of her. They were against her, and they made that loudly and abundantly clear.

The whole thing was ugly, and I'm glad it's over. Let's move on, please.

Scotties: Why didn't Jennifer Jones play her last shot against PEI?

Some action on Twitter suggests that people are not happy with Jennifer Jones for bailing on her last shot in Monday night's game against PEI.

She should have thrown it, tried the triple, made a go of it (think some people).  Why would she just give up? Don't the paying customers deserve to see her at least try?

All good points.

But the way I see it:

She analyzed the situation - and we all know, no one can analyze a game like JJ can - and saw no hope. The triple was not there. She's a curler, not a circus performer. She's there to win (or lose) a game, and move on to the next one.

If JJ says there was no shot, there was no shot. Game over.

With class, and with respect for her opponents, she acknowledge defeat, turned and shook hands. Her team was completely in support.

And the crowd - those paying customers - went home happy.

Curling in the news: Not

I'm feeling pretty cranky this morning.

This weekend saw two fantastically exciting games in the M&M Canadian Junior Curling Championships. Team Saskatchewan (skip Trish Paulsen, third Kari Kennedy, second Kari Paulsen and lead Natalie Yanko) won the Junior Ladies' title on a steal when Alberta's Nadine Chyz's last shot rolled out. Team Saskatchewan (skip Braeden Moskowy, third Kirk Muyres, second Colton Flasch, and lead Matt Lang) won the Junior Men's title on a measure - in an extra end, no less.

Both games were exciting, well-played and terrific harbingers of what's to come at the highest levels of the sport. I mean, if the kids can curl like this now, what are they going to be like when they hit the Big Leagues in a year or two?

But this excitement - and the significance of these teams' achievements - was entirely ignored by the press, yet again. My morning Globe & Mail didn't even list the event on its results page. A quick search of the National Post reveals the same.  Yes, the Super Bowl and NHL stories require their coverage - no problem there.

But curling isn't an obscure sport. In Canada, particularly, you can find curling events on television pretty well any weekend after Christmas, and daily during national championships. Think back, way back, to the Olympics. Do I really need to remind anyone about the rabid, raucous, rowdy fans? Curling was cool. Curling was everywhere.

The Globe, "Canada's National Newspaper", however, would rather lift four reports (four!) from the Times of London about cricket, soccer, auto racing and golf rather than file a home-grown report on exciting sporting events played by Canadians, in Canada.

I'd love to hear from our American curling friends about what the press did during their recent Junior Championship. The sport is surging in The States - what's the coverage like there?  Or are you, as we are, marginalized and ignored - unless someone is winning a gold medal or lots of cash?

Yes, I'm cranky. Curlers - time to write some letters. And if you're interested, here's an address to start with:

letters@globeandmail.com

Jennifer Jones v Cathy Overton-Clapham: Chill, People!

Okay, I know many curling fans are wondering what's going to happen when Team Canada meets Team Manitoba on February 23 in the evening draw at the Scotties.  We all know the story - which I blogged about, here, and which curling writers, including The Globe's Bob Weeks, have covered with enthusiasm. After all, it's fun to watch real-life drama unfold before your eyes, isn't it?

But I think it's time to step away from the drama and let the curlers curl.

The curling world in Canada is its own small (but growing) community. Everyone knows everything about everybody. When teams break up (remember the Gushue-Korab thing? Remember Kevin Martin after the Salt Lake Olympics? What about Jeff Stoughton and the revolving door at third? And then there's Colleen Jones' winning team splintering into Colleen Jones - and her winning team going elsewhere) it's news on Twitter and the blogosphere, in the forums and around the rinks.  It happens. It happened to Jennifer and Cathy. It was ugly, especially for Cathy - and no one blames her for the hurt feelings. She lost a lot in the deal, and there's never a good time to tell somewhere "You're out. We don't want you. Good-bye."

But these elite curlers are, for all intents and purposes, pros. Stuff happens. My prediction is that Team Canada and Team Manitoba will be so focused on their game - and beating each other - that like true pros, they will filter the crappy past out.  They will shake hands before and after, they will curl their brains out, and someone will lose.

And they will move on to the next game...

That is, unless the media and fans go nuts and try to turn this into a degrading celebrity cat fight.

Chill, people.  They're both great teams who deserve to be there. Let the curlers do what they do best.  Curl.

Curling Club Bonspiels: Good Play, Good Name Tags

I remember when I was really little, my mom would head out to her Ladies' bonspiels and come home with a prize (usually) and a cool name tag.  No sticky pre-fabs proclaiming "Hello, My Name Is..."  No, the bonspiels she went to were organized by old-school traditionalists who knew how to do it right. Name tags in the shape of Scottish tams, or flowers, or curling stones, or brooms. All hand-made and worth keeping - which my mom did, for years.

I confess, when I started curling years later, I was tickled to see that at most of the Ladies' bonspiels I attended had the same vision. Cool name tags.  It was one of the things that cemented my already-strong loyalty to the game I had come to love.

But it wasn't just the name tags: it was the crazy, fun, creative, often silly mood that surrounded many of the bonspiels I played in, both Ladies' and Mixed.

There are lots of theories about where the term "bonspiel" derives from, including this detailed and entertaining theory from Bill Casselman's Word of the Day. I like to think it's all about a good (bon) game (spiel) - a mixture of French and German words on some long-ago frozen pond in Scotland.

So take a good game, set it on ice, stir in a strong expectation of fun and food, and you have a bonspiel. That's what I saw at the WGF Continental Cup last week (and you can read my blog about that at Around The House, on the Canadian Curling Association site) and that's what I look for when I see those event posters fluttering up and down the big bulletin board outside the change rooms at my club. These are not playdowns, these are not important competitions.  These are bonspiels: good games. Good friends. Good fun.

Good name tags, too.

What’s on your curling wish list this Christmas?

‘Tis the season for Christmas lists, and here’s one that caught my attention.

My friend and editor at The Curling News, George Karrys, has written a night-before-Christmas wish list that hits the button. Here’s the link to his Curling Guru column in the Toronto Sun.

George knows what he’s talking about – and he’s not afraid to take some heat either. I can see competitive women curlers getting their backs up at some of his comments, but I think he’s spot on. Take some chances, Ladies!

And get your wallets out, Curlers! As a recreational winter activity, curling is cheap compared to skiing or hockey, and compared to golf fees, it’s a steal. George isn’t the only one to argue this, either.  Check out the CCA’s Business of Curling blog for a piece written by me and the CCA’s Director of Championship Service and Curling Club Development, Danny Lamoureux.

George also talks about the challenges of marketing the game. Even though the grassroots of curling is obviously where my heart lies (this blog is called Grassroots Curling, after all), I think he’s right that the image – the appeal - of the game needs to grow beyond the folksy, traditional view so many of us celebrate. This sport could be big, really big. Marketers need to get on board and promote its big guns: I mean, if you can’t sell athletes like John Morris, David Murdoch, Thomas Ulsrud, Jennifer Jones or Eve Muirhead to the world, you’re in the wrong job. Curling as a fun recreational activity is great.  But curling as a dynamic, exciting spectator sport is the next big thing.  Come on, people, buy those incredibly reasonably priced tickets to events held across Canada and convince the necessary sponsors that it’s time to bring curling to the next level.

My blog on the CCA site, Around the House, is also a list this week: a wish list for recreational curlers (chiefly me). My biggest wish? I want a curling sweater like my dad used to wear. I’ve included the picture here in case you missed it. That’s my dad, Jack Bangay, keeping score at a Ladies’ provincial competition at CFB Downsview Curling Club, sometime in the late 1950s. (I’m pretty sure there was a beer and a cigarette just outside the frame of this photo…)

But there are a few other things on my curling wish list - fairly lightweight, I know, but wishes, just the same:

1. I wish TV broadcasts didn’t cut away to commercials right after the winning last rock and handshakes. When you’re watching at home, you want to see all the back slapping and celebrating by the winners, and (voyeurs that we are) we want to share in the disappointment shown by the losers, no matter what form it takes. I know it’s all about sponsors and advertising, but can you give us at least a minute or two to watch the post-game action before whisking us away to watch another commercial for [insert product here]?

2. Okay, don’t laugh. I wish someone knew how to design curling pants for women. They need to reach our waists and stay there (are you listening, sports clothing designers?).  That means, we need to be able to get down in the hack and not feel the cool air creeping across the lumbar region. And the view from behind the glass of women of a certain age coming apart in the middle isn’t that great either.  I’m just saying.

Enough about me.  What’s on your curling wish list this year?

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